I just found out this limblesslove.deviantart.com/
I love these drawings, I cannot say why. And also love the Lj of the artist: a_artaud
. There is something melancholic in that blog. I adore it, really. It's like something far away from me that I know ... something like the lost of innocence.
I don't know, but I love that.
And I miss that.
Maybe it's because last Saturday I felt something like that.
I went out with my boyfriend, just like many other weekends.
I decided to drive my father' car ... I mean, I don't like driving. It scares me as hell.
Btw I drove 52124554 km, we went to dinner and I drove also on Sunday.
I spent a special weekend with him. We ate delicious things in a very magical place (God knows how I hate the word "special" - when it is not concerned to the Garbage' song - but I cannot find any other world to explain it). It was strange.
And in occasions like this one, I start thinking about adolescence and so on ... Ok, it is not that strange ... I think that the major part of the world starts to be sentimental on special occasions ... but I felt so good that I cannot tell.
I didn't took pictures ... I just want to remember those moments forever, I want to take them in my heart.
They are so vivid and I know they will be like that forever.
No words can explain this feeling, not music or photos ... nothing at all.
Even if I think that sometimes my boyfriend doesn't stand these kind of things.
He has a very particular character.
I think it is why I love him like that.
I feel so sorry for what I have done to him ... some lies and things like these ...
I want to be forever with him. I want to live with him and marry.
I REALLY REALLY WANT IT!!!
I cannot be happier than when I am with him.
I appear like a stupid adolescent ... I know it.
But I know the reason: maybe it is because I had a lack of time. I have never had an adolescence ... maybe it is time to close the circle now.
It is difficult to be a woman for a man when you dind't have an adolescence ... neither a childhood.
I feel like I got born like I am now. I feel like my past is a unique getting to life ... a life in life-in-life. It is really difficult to explain.
And maybe it is why I listen to pop music like Lady Gaga now !! Gosh, I use to listen only to Joy Division, Placebo .... well, you know me.
I USE TO MAKE STUPID SENTENCES, SO PLEASE SORRY!!!
Just one last stupid thing.
It's summertime, I know ... so, I feel like I never had one ... except for last year. I really want to have a same, better one. Soon.