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 I just found out this  limblesslove.deviantart.com/ I… 
13th-Jun-2011 08:21 pm
angst
 I just found out this limblesslove.deviantart.com/
I love these drawings, I cannot say why. And also love the Lj of the artist: a_artaud . There is something melancholic in that blog. I adore it, really. It's like something far away from me that I know ... something like the lost of innocence.
I don't know, but I love that.
And I miss that.

Maybe it's because last Saturday I felt something like that. 
I went out with my boyfriend, just like many other weekends. 
I decided to drive my father' car ... I mean, I don't like driving. It scares me as hell.
Btw I drove 52124554 km, we went to dinner and I drove also on Sunday.
I spent a special weekend with him. We ate delicious things in a very magical place (God knows how I hate the word "special" - when it is not concerned to the Garbage' song - but I cannot find any other world to explain it). It was strange.
And in occasions like this one, I start thinking about adolescence and so on ... Ok, it is not that strange ... I think that the major part of the world starts to be sentimental on special occasions ... but I felt so good that I  cannot tell.
I didn't took pictures ... I just want to remember those moments forever, I want to take them in my heart.
They are so vivid and I know they will be like that forever.
No words can explain this feeling, not music or photos ... nothing at all. 
 
Even if I think that sometimes my boyfriend doesn't stand these kind of things.
He has a very particular character. 
I think it is why I love him like that.
 
I feel so sorry for what I have done to him ... some lies and things like these ... 
I want to be forever with him. I want to live with him and marry. 
I REALLY REALLY WANT IT!!!
I  cannot be happier than when I am with him.
 
I appear like a stupid adolescent ... I know it.
But I know the reason: maybe it is because I had a lack of time. I have never had an adolescence ... maybe it is time to close the circle now.
It is difficult to be a woman for a man when you dind't have an adolescence ... neither a childhood.
I feel like I got born like I am now. I feel like my past is a unique getting to life ... a life in life-in-life. It is really difficult to explain.
And maybe it is why I listen to pop music like Lady Gaga now !! Gosh, I use to listen only to Joy Division, Placebo .... well, you know me.
I USE TO MAKE STUPID SENTENCES, SO PLEASE SORRY!!!
 
Just one last stupid thing.
It's summertime, I know ... so, I feel like I never had one ... except for last year. I really want to have  a same, better one. Soon.
 



Comments 
16th-Jun-2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
thank you so much ;__; ♥

i never really know if anyone reads my journal or not, so it means a lot to me.

and i know what you mean. i spent most of my early teens as a nerdy, sheltered hermit, so i missed out on years of stupidity and mistakes that make other people grow up... when i grew older i had to reclaim five years of experience in the space of one year.
it's weird, not having those base experiences, that grounding that other people do. it's like, in a way, no matter how intelligent you are, some part of you remains a fourteen-year-old until you've been through the things that fourteen-year-olds do.

i don't think you're stupid though.
love is an important thing.
17th-Jun-2011 11:50 am (UTC)
Argh I wrote you several things here but when I clicked on "reply" Internet fell down ;__;

So, I wrote that you are so kind to me! Thank you very much for your words!!!

Well, I always read your Lj: I like it a lot, it is so inspiring to me! Plus, I like to know everything about your country. I like northern Europe and, I know that I am stupid (in this case I am stupid at 100%), I started loving your country since I read the Stieg Larsson trilogy in less than one month >__>

Oh, you got it: it is a so weird situation ... and sometimes it scares me a lot :-(

Love is beautiful. Btw my favourite mood is melancholy. The thing I want to know most is death.

<3
17th-Jun-2011 07:58 pm (UTC)
"Well, I always read your Lj: I like it a lot, it is so inspiring to me! Plus, I like to know everything about your country. I like northern Europe and, I know that I am stupid (in this case I am stupid at 100%), I started loving your country since I read the Stieg Larsson trilogy in less than one month >__>"

haha, that's not stupid at all, it's sweet. if you ever want to know anything, you can ask me
17th-Jun-2011 09:54 pm (UTC)
*_* thank you!!!
well, you can just post pics about you and your friends: I adore your way to be weird^^
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